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A couple of weeks ago, a dear friend called me up crying. She shared how she had rediscovered Psalm 71 after being hurt by a “Christian” friend. She was crying from the pain and sting but also from how good the Lord is to love her so much to show her in His word, that those harmful words spoken to her, did not come from Him.

It’s so good. He is so good.

Ironically, I was in need of that same Psalm recently for the same exact reason.

I think it can be especially painful when someone pretends to speak for God, talking about how they prayed for the right words and then says mean-spirited things. It’s manipulative and actually evil.

We’re all used by Satan. I’ve been used by him to harm others and I’m sure I will again. I hope I won’t, but anytime I let my ego get in the way, that for sure does not come from God.

I pray, sincerely, on my knees begging God that I never shame someone and pretend to speak for the Lord.

God is love which means He speaks to those He loves, with loving words. Can the Holy Spirit convict you of sin? YES, but it doesn’t come from a person who has bitterness in their heart.

I’m so blessed to have people in my life that will be honest and say, “Hey sister, check your heart on that issue.” They come to me in love and gently or even not so gently, bring the sin to my attention not to condemn me but to make me aware that maybe my behavior is not reflecting the light of God.


Which means they don’t sit on their feelings and let them fester. They don’t trick you or lie about why they are meeting with you and then dump their negativity on you.

Shame is never used.

Most importantly they never say cruel things just to get them off their chest so they can have closure.

Christians, do no harm. We can wear all the Christian t-shirts made, be dripping in Christian jewelry, quote verse after verse of the Bible but if we don’t speak in love, we don’t speak from God.

Not to be Captain Obvious but that pushes people away from God.

So what do you do if a “Christian friend” hurts you?

I’m using it as an opportunity to be grateful that I don’t have to have them in my life. Thank you, Lord, for showing me in Your word that they don’t speak on Your behalf.

Listen to worship music. Praise Him for his TRUE LOVE.

Read the Bible so you know if it’s something coming from the Lord. That knowledge of His word will give you discernment.

I didn’t take that awful conversation personally because I know those words are not coming from God. He loves me and would never be so cruel.

It was offensive but I’m not offended. We all sin which is why we need Jesus.

Lastly, here is the good news: We don’t have to be friends with people that harm us with their best intentions.


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